If you’ve been around the BDSM scene either in real life or online and through phone sex, I’m sure you’ve read about the importance of openness and honesty in D/s relationships. There are several reasons why this is so important, both in real life and even in fantasy phone sex D/s scenarios.

Honesty in D/s: Kinks and Fetishes

Honesty in D/s relationships is very important, especially when connecting with your Femdom Mistress the first time. Whether in person or with a phone Mistress, being open and honest about your particular kinks and fetishes and what you are looking for is crucial to a successful D/s relationship. Sometimes that means having a matter-of-fact discuss about why you enjoy. Other times, part of your kink is dropping hints about things you enjoy, just waiting on your Mistress to take those hints and run with them.

As a Femdom phone sex Mistress, I enjoy the matter-of-fact discussions but I also enjoy pulling more of your dirty little secrets and kinky fantasies out of you, little by little.  I’ve also been around long enough to know the importance of what you don’t say as much as the importance of what you do say.  That said, sometimes, I get first-time callers who don’t give me any hints or clues as to what they are looking for. They simply say, “dominate me Mistress” and refuse to give me any more than that.

When you don’t give me any clues at all about your particular fetish or kink, I have no idea what it is you are looking for and the chance of you having an enjoyable session is practically nil. This is one of the biggest reasons, especially in the case of phone sex, your openness and honesty about what you are looking for in a D/s relationship and a D/s scenario is so very important! I enjoy being a dominant Mistress, yes, but I also enjoy knowing enough about you and your kinks to know just the right buttons to push to achieve the intended reaction and result.

Honesty in D/s: Limits and Boundaries

As a submissive, you’re job is to be open and honest about what you’re looking for and what you’re not looking for. This is part of D/s Etiquette. Everybody has limits and boundaries. Some have very strict lines for their limits and boundaries and for others, their lines are more fluid.

As a Femdom, it’s my job to push you right up to your boundaries while still respecting them.  I can’t do this if the submissive is not open and honest with me about his what he’s looking for, his likes and dislikes, and hard boundaries.

Why is it the job of a Femdom to push the submissive right to the edge of the submissive’s boundaries? Because the most amazing subspace exists right at the edge of your boundaries and because it helps the submissive grow as a person. It is quite common, over time and with personal growth, that boundaries change. Some hard boundaries become soft boundaries while many soft boundaries disappear. 

The Importance of Trust and Safe Words

Trust is essential in D/s relationships- even more so when they are phone domination relationships. In part, because the Femdom does not have the luxury of seeing your physical reactions, and in part, because it’s easy for the submissive to not follow orders and just pretend that he is.  Pretending doesn’t garner that subspace high the submissive is looking for and we Mistresses often can tell if the submissive isn’t following through, even on the phone.

Though things can be a bit trickier with distance domination, establishing a safe word is still very important- maybe even more important. When the Femdom and submissive are in the same room, she can see when something may be becoming too much and adjust accordingly but on the phone, unless the submissive gives a verbal indication via safe word that something is too much, the Femdom may not know and ultimately, the call is likely to not go well.

There you have it, pets~ the importance of openness and honesty in D/s relationships.

Until next time~

Your Intelligent Fantasies Mistress