With great power comes great responsibility.
~Voltaire
Power exchange brings responsibility- a responsibility that should not be taken lightly. There is a fine balance between the needs of the dominant (Mistress in this context) and the needs of the submissive. Achieving that balance isn’t always easy.
The Mistress must always keep in mind that the submissive has chosen to give himself to her of his own will and must respect that fact at all times. A Mistress must never take advantage of that fact.
Communication is Key
Communication is important in any relationship. This is especially true when it comes to dominance and submission and the Dominant/submissive relationship. It is important for both the dominant and the submissive to communicate their expectations and limitations to each other. Being dominant means being in control of the submissive but that doesn’t mean unilateral control. The submissive’s wishes must be taken into account.
Likewise, being submissive does not just mean letting the dominant do to you whatever they wish. It means discussing fantasies and desires along with their turnoffs and limits. The domination then centers around the shared desires of both the dominant Mistress and the submissive to ensure both parties are being fulfilled. This is another reason why negotiation is so important when beginning the Mistress/submissive relationship and why open discussion and communication before, during, and after every scene is imperative.
Discipline and Reward
There is a fine balance here, too, because for many submissives, punishment is actually a reward, as they are craving the punishment. In this case, the astute Mistress may withhold the submissive’s preferred method of punishment, instead opting to impart another punishment, or withhold punishment altogether.
Mistresses use the carrot and stick method to keep their submissives in line; punishment for misbehavior and reward for good behavior.
One of my favorite things to do is to withhold a punishment I know the submissive is going to enjoy, listening to him change from begging for me to NOT punish him (his way of showing me he really wants the punishment) to begging for me to punish him once he realizes I plan to withhold punishment. Oh how I love to hear them beg… 😉
Until next time, pets~
Communication is the key I email talk or chat with Ms Constance 2 to 3 times a week so there is very little She doesn’t know about me. Now Ms Constance has declared that I am to see Ms Sloane if I’m in need of punishment and I haven’t messed up yet so who knows what may happen if I screw up.
I have been reading about demerits for punishment sounds interesting cause its throws you a curve. If I do this how much trouble am I in how many demerits would it be if I did this. Than You wonder will it be be painful or painfully pleasure it’s boggles the mind lol
Well I know from personal experience that Ms Constance and I chat, talk on the phone or email several times a week sowe are constantly in contact which makes me that much more devoted to Her. She has decided that if I am to be punish that Ms Sloane will be in charge with that so I have yet to venture in that territory as of yet.
However the demerit system is also an effective method of discipline how many times can a sub screw up before he actually gets punished. The aniticipation of the punishment is the punishment truly a reward, how many demerits will I get if I do this? Is it worth it. It definitely brings a whole in light on the subject. I think
With great power…oh most definitely! 🙂
I had to laugh with regards about the carrot…
Funny thing that, remind me to tell you how I utilized the same method,
and how my results were…hehehe…interesting. 😉
Great post!
The discipline/rewards part made me think of some thing I read once.
The perfect sub says “beat me, please”
The perfect Dom says “No”
😉
Communication, of course, so often being pointless in the real world:
Woman: Hey, nice to meet you!
Man: Gee, if you would stroke my cock, it would really feel good to cum all over you!
Woman: Umm, I was thinking that maybe we could get to know each other…
Man: Did you say something?
Hi Empress Hunter,
Great post once again. It is great that you love to hear a submissive beg. I love to beg. Once again communication is the key in a Dominant/Submissive relationship.