“Am I the biggest loser you’ve ever seen,” proudly asked loser perv, the gooner perv jerk-off junkie, in the hopes of hearing me say “absolutely, you are the biggest loser perv gooner I have ever seen.” Truth is, I have talked to a LOT of gooners and loser perv just may really be the biggest loser of the bunch.
What is Gooning?
Chances are, by now you’ve at least heard of gooning, which has been rising in popularity over the last 5 years but if you’ve somehow been under a rock all this time and have not heard of it, here’s a crash course on all things gooning.
Gooning refers to a euphoric state of being reached most often through prolonged edging sessions that renders the person practically incapable of thinking intelligently. Some say it refers to the look of stupor that being in that state evokes. Either way, you don’t get to that point by masturbating straight to orgasm or even by edging for short periods of time.
To reach the “gooner state” requires an extended amount of time spent riding the edge of orgasm and backing off, edging and backing off, wash-rinse-repeat. Many people think they’re gooning, when in fact, they have just been edging. Nobody can articulate at precisely which point edging becomes gooning but everybody who has ever experienced a true gooning state says it’s like nothing else they’ve ever experienced.
Gooner Perv Humiliation
Not everybody who enjoys gooning is into humiliation though most do seem to be. Most gooners are proud of the fact that they are gooners and oftentimes are eager to find out whether they are the most pathetic gooner perv I talk to.
In fact, when loser perv showed me his “goon center” with it’s 6 ginormous televisions mounted in a way that resembles a bank of security monitors at a casino- each playing a different porn flick selected from the one of several terabyte hard drives filled entirely full of porn, he had the expectant look of an athlete waiting see whether or not he would receive a medal for his efforts.
I am not trying to minimize athletes or their accomplishments, I am merely explaining that to loser perv, gooning is akin to an Olympic sport in the sheer amount of time and money that has gone into his “training.” His approach to becoming a pussy-free gooner and maintaining that status for 15 years requires hours and hours of masturbation and edging, extensive searches for porn clips he may not yet have in his collection, extensively organizing the collection, getting all the right angles on the right televisions, etc.
Gooning is not something you simply sit down and do. It really does take a lot of planning and requires a lot of alone time.
Are you a Gooner? Would you Like to be a Gooner?
Are you a gooner perv? Do you enjoy gooning for hours and hours on end? Have you taken the pussy-free challenge? Or, are you a beginner gooner or a wannabe gooner?
If you are currently a gooner, would you spend more time gooning than you already do if you could? If you are not yet a gooner, are you interested in gooning? Being pussy free?
Do people end up gooning because they can’t get pussy or do they enjoy gooning so much they make the conscious decision to never have pussy again?
These are all good questions and I’d love to read your thoughts on them in the comments. Even better, I’d love if you give me a call and give me your answers.
There you have it, pets. It’s official. Loser perv is indeed the biggest loser I have talked to… but, one call could change all of that. Do YOU have what it takes to knock loser perv off his biggest loser pedestal?
Until next time~
Your Intelligent Fantasies Mistress
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