I love it when the UPS man shows up at my door unexpectedly! Aside from the fact that he is absolutely gorgeous, he’s always bringing me nice gifts from my wishlist! Of course, the gifts aren’t from the UPS man, they are from you, my sweet, thoughtful pets. I am always amazed at your thoughtful selections and sweet sentiments.

Studly Delivery Man Teased for My Amusement

Just this morning, as I was sipping my morning cup of butterscotch flavored Boca Java, I was surprised by a knock on the door from the studly man in brown, himself.  As I was wearing my short, satin nightie, I peeked out the window to see who it could be, before opening the door.  My pulse quickened and my thoughts raced when I saw that big, brown box truck!

Teasing Game at its Finest

“Wonder what he’s bringing me today?”, I thought.  I set my coffee down and rushed to the door.  “Hello”, I said, “do you have a package for me today?”  “Y-y-yes, ma’am, I do”, he stammered.  “I have two packages for you”, he said, as he tried not to stare at my long, tan legs contrasting against the snow.

“Sign here, please”, he said as he dropped the stylus on the ground.  Feeling like a bit of a tease this morning, I bent down to pick it up, giving him a nice view of my sexy cleavage as the v-necked nightie pulled away from my body slightly.  “Sorry ma’am”, he said.  “Okay”, I said firmly. “Enough is enough! Quit calling me ma’am and call me Hunter.”

“Yes ma- I mean, Hunter”, he said, brushing his had across mine as he took the signature pad back.  He handed me the boxes, and I winked at him as he turned to head back to the truck, forgetting he had to step down to get to the sidewalk.  Luckily, he caught himself, but he turned to see if I had been watching.   At that moment, I blew him a kiss and told him I can’t wait to see him again soon.  Poor guy practically ran to the truck, hopped in, threw it in gear, and drove off without looking back.

Sweet Pets Shower Mistress with Wishlist Gifts

As soon as I closed the door, I opened the boxes to find a lovely blue and silver sapphire ring from my sweet sunshine, and a feng shui candle set from my adorable saint.  Thank you both for making my day! I slipped the ring right on my finger and put those candles in my bathroom, right next to my garden tub.  I so love to take hot bubble baths while listening to classical music and sipping a nice glass of wine.

Teasing You Gets Me Hot!

And as for the UPS guy?  I love teasing men, what can I say?  I adore getting you all worked up, desperate for a release, begging to cum.  I love teasing you and telling you exactly how I want you to masturbate for me- how I want you to stroke it for me… having you feel MY balls and tell me how full and tight they are!  That’s when I have you just where I want you- cock control at its finest!!  Mmmmm, I’m getting excited just thinking about it!

I um, -er, have something I need to do… gotta go take care of it pets!  Call me and I will tell you exactly what I am about to go do!

Until next time,

~Empress Hunter

For an erotic phone session with Empress Hunter, call 800-601-6975
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In case you didn’t already know, I want to tell you about all the FUN, FABULOUS, & FREE things available to you here at LDW. First, there are the fabulous and FREE forums at www.teaseamania.com and www.getgirlie.com. In these forums, you will have the opportunity to listen to hundreds of FREE sexy recordings by your favorite Mistresses, read and post erotic stories, find out about upcoming events such as the Party Line and Cock Radio Shows, communicate with your favorite Mistresses, as well as other members of the forum, and much, much more! Signing up for the forums is simple, easy, and FREE! Just go to the desired forum and click the Register link at the top right, plug in your email address and you are good to go!

Next, I want to tell you about our erotic chatrooms, such as Tease & Denial, SissySchool, Kink, and more. These chatrooms are 100% free and are a fun way to interact with your Mistresses and other members of the community. The chatrooms can be found at www.communitykink.com. Of course there is also a Special Events chat room, where various Mistresses host FREE weekly chats on a wide range of topics.

If that weren’t enough, there is also Cock Radio- all FREE, all the time! Go to www.cockradio.com, select your favorite player and enjoy! Cock Radio plays a mixture of music and erotic audio from your favorite Mistresses, along with hosting several Fabulous, FREE & Fun radio shows. In fact, beginning September 1st, your very own Empress Hunter will begin hosting a weekly show on Friday nights at 11pm Eastern, called Strokers Ball. It promises to be a LOT of fun and I hope you will join me! Click HERE for the Cock Radio shedule to see other scheduled FREE events.

Last but not least, I want to tell you about the TWO upcoming FREE Party Line events! On Saturday August 15, join Mistress Ryan at 8:30 pm Eastern for “Ladies Lingerie”, and Empress Hunter and Mistress Ann at 11:59 Eastern for “Midnight Stroker“. Both these events are ABSOLUTELY FREE!! This is your chance to come checkout the party line, listen to the shows and see if it is something you enjoy! Hope to see you there!!

Need an enchantress to stimulate your senses through provocative and intimate conversation? Call Empress Hunter at 800-356-6169.

Until next time,

Adult Phone Sex, Phone Sex Mistress, Dominatrix

Don’t foget to checkout the Mistress Interviews each week, live on Provocatalk!!

The Mistress Interviews on Provocatalk Radio

Whatever your mood or sexual desire, it isn’t hard to find music to match. Music is a powerful form of expression that speaks to the soul, so naturally it makes sense that there would be so many songs that revolve around sexual wants, needs, and desires. Read on, you’ll see what I mean.

Whether you like to get in touch with your feminine side in the privacy of your own home or whether you are going out en femme tonight, here’s a little mood music for you:

The Kinks – LOLA
Queen – I Want to Break Free
Green Day – King for a Day
The Who – I’m a Boy
Bitch and Animal – Drag King Bar

Thinking about a nice blow job?   These songs are for you:

Billy Squier – She Goes Down (there is also a Motley Crue version)
Blink 182 – Blow Job
ZZ Top – Pearl Necklace
Liz Phair – Flower
Kiss – Deuce

Of course if you are trying to get yourself out of the mood for a blow job, you could always listen to Hate Plow’s “$20 Blow Job”, a song sure to drive your stiffy limp.

All hunkered down to stroke it for your favorite Mistress? Here is a little background mood music:

Steve Winwood – Rosie
Billy Squier – Stroke
Pink – U and Ur Hand
Billy Idol – Dancing with Myself
Elvis Costello – Pump it Up

What about kinky sex? There are songs for that too, here are a just a few:

AC DC – Cover You in Oil
Rick James – Super Freak
Prince – Scandalous
NIN – Closer
ZZ Top – Tube Snake Boogie
Nancy Sinatra – These Boots are Made for Walking
Bloodhound Gang – Discovery Channel
ZZ Top – Fool for Your Stockings
Pale Saints – Kinky Love (which ironically was written by Duke Ellington for Nancy Sinatra, but was banned back in the mid 70s)

In the mood for sensual or romantic sex? A literal bazillion of these type songs exist, though if you’ve ever watched any movies [not porn, you perv] with romance or sex scenes, you know what the #1 song has to be! Here it is, along with a couple more pulled from plethoric others:

Marvin Gaye – Let’s Get it On
Barry White – Love Serenade
Percy Sledge – When a Man Loves a Woman
Lionel Ritchie – Three Times a Lady
I’m pretty sure you can think of a bazillion of your own, so you don’t need my help here!

Looking to “Do it in the Butt?” Oh wait, that song is “Doing the Butt!” Either way, sounds pretty kinky to me! How about these:

Sir Mix-a-Lot – Baby Got Back
All Saints – Bootie Call
Sade – The Sweetest Taboo
Bubba Sparxx – Ms New Bootie
Souja Boy – Booty Meat
Justin Timberlake – Sexy Back

Then there are those, that no matter what just reek of sex, take some of these, for example:

Ted Nugent – Wango Tango
The Commodores – Brick House
Prince – Kiss
Kiss – almost all of them- but Strutter, Love Gun, Domino, Lick it Up are a few of my faves!
Stevie Ray Vaughn – When the House is a Rockin’
Ted Nugent – Wang Dang Sweet Poontang
AC DC – Let Me Put My Love Into You, Babe
George Michael – I Want Your Sex
NIN – Closer (sorry, I think this one deserves mention in both categories)
Nickleback – Figured You Out

I suppose that is enough for today- the list could be never ending! These are some awesome songs to get you started, but everybody has a different music trigger! I would love to hear what songs get YOU in the mood! Email Me or IM me with YOUR favorite humping, jacking, sucking, or spewing songs! I can hardly wait to see what they are!

Need an enchantress to stimulate your senses through provocative and intimate conversation? Call Empress Hunter at 800-356-6169.

Need an enchantress to stimulate your senses through provocative and intimate conversation? Call Empress Hunter at 800-356-6169.

As promised yesterday, today’s blog post is all about the penis. Let’s face it- the entire population is preoccupied with the penis. Whatever the motivation behind their phallic fixation, men and women alike share the preoccupation. This erectile organ has been put on a pedestal of epic proportion; blamed for myriad problems from bad business decisions to the breakup of marriages and everything in between.  

And so, without further gilding the lily (no you perv, it does not mean the same thing as polishing the knob), and with no more ado, I give to you:

Practically Picayune Penis Trivia

In all my research for this article, one thing remains clear: whether concerned with, proud of, or otherwise wishing for, a penis of particular proportions, size does matter! I must admit, it makes me a bit sad for the poor dude who set this record:

The smallest erect penis on record was one centimeter long.

Poor guy had a case of micropenis. As much as I use that term for my dear lil’ under-endowed callers, turns out it is a very real condition!

Micropenis is a rare disorder where the afflicted suffers from an
unusually small penis, roughly .75 to one inch long…and that’s erect.

I bet lil’ dick losers everywhere are feeling better about themselves already! Not for long, though! Read on…

“Generally, Caucasian males have penis sizes averaging about 6.2 inches long, with the approximate circumference of 3.2 inches” (sizemed.com).

The “record-holding penis [is] 13.5 inches in length and 6.25 inches in circumference” (sizemed.com).

In 1995, Hong Kong native Mo Ka Wang lifted over 250 pounds more than two feet off the floor using nothing but his erect penis!

No matter the size, an unobstructed penis is capable of shooting semen anywhere from 12 to 24 inches.

The initial spurt of ejaculate travels at 28 miles per hour. By way of comparison, the world record for the 100 yard dash is 27.1 miles per hour.

Next, are the answers to two questions frequently asked by all you cum pigs out there! How many calories are contained in a teaspoon of cum? and What is cum made up of, besides semen? Oh, who am *I* kidding! Those aren’t really the questions I get asked. The questions I get asked, are: “Ms. Hunter, f I drink a shot glass full of cum, will it make me gain weight? and “Ms. Hunter, what makes that warm sticky goo taste oh-so-good?”   Well, my eager little cum guzzlers, indirectly, here are the answers to your questions:

There are between 5-10 calories in a teaspoon of semen, which is said to be made up of more than 30 substances, including:   fructose, ascorbic acid, cholesterol, creatine, citric acid, lactic acid, nitrogen, vitamin B12 and many other various salts and enzymes depending on what the ejaculator ate recently.

Medomalacuphobia is the fear of losing an erection, and according to my favorite friends, Merriam & Webster, is pronounced: med-oh-muh-lak-you-fo-beeuh.

Believe it or not, there’s actually a word for the fear of seeing, thinking about, or having an erect penis. It’s called ithyphallophobia, which Merriam & Webster say is pronounced: ith-uh-fal-oh-fo-beeuh.

Among primates, the man’s penis is the largest and the thickest- an adult gorilla’s being only about two inches long

The walrus has the largest penis of any land animal, measuring 24.5 inches when erect; the rhinoceros, comes in at a very close second.

The amount of available internet trivia pertaining to the penis seems to be endless! This just reinforces my firm belief that everybody, in some way, is preoccupied with the penis!

Well, kiddies- as much as I know you all enjoyed reading those picayune facts pertaining to the penis, that’s all for today! Tune in tomorrow for the blog post: “Fetishes and Paraphilias”

Until next time,

Adult Phone Sex, Phone Sex Mistress, Dominatrix

Need an enchantress to stimulate your senses through provocative and intimate conversation? Call Empress Hunter at 800-356-6169.

With many of you at the Fireworks celebrating our wonderful country’s independence, a few of us were busy making fireworks of our own!

Let’s see… there was R that called for a guided masturbation and teasing session that was “something different”. He started to realize just “how different” it was going to be when I had him fetching his toothbrush and toothpaste, along with tongs, soup spoon (not a wooden spoon, but a metal soup spoon), and a few other interesting items!

Then, of course there was RG, who was so excited to be the fluffer for the two bulls his wife brought home to fuck, he could hardly contain himself, followed by PantyBoy M, who was away on a trip with the guys, but was so horny he couldn’t wait to sneak away and give me a call! Even had to go buy a pair of pretty pink panties before he called, as he couldn’t risk taking them with him on the trip.

The following day, in the afterglow of fireworks celebrations around the country, many of us were still making fireworks! There’s R, who couldn’t wait to call and tell me he’d just received a box of goodies recently ordered from the stockroom, and asked if I would help him break them in! I think he’s still basking in the afterglow of that explosive session!!

And of course, I wouldn’t want to forget about my slut j, and the fact that he couldn’t wait to pound that cock of his, the minute his Mistress was away! We really must do something about that lack of self discipline, j!

I had a terrific holiday weekend; with fireworks like these, who needed to go out and battle the crowds for something that usually fizzles all the way through and at the end you have to ask “was that the grand finale?” I guarantee you none of these guys had to ask that question!!!

Until next time,

Adult Phone Sex, Phone Sex Mistress, Dominatrix