Need an enchantress to stimulate your senses through provocative and intimate conversation? Call Empress Hunter at 800-356-6169.

As promised yesterday, today’s blog post is all about the penis. Let’s face it- the entire population is preoccupied with the penis. Whatever the motivation behind their phallic fixation, men and women alike share the preoccupation. This erectile organ has been put on a pedestal of epic proportion; blamed for myriad problems from bad business decisions to the breakup of marriages and everything in between.  

And so, without further gilding the lily (no you perv, it does not mean the same thing as polishing the knob), and with no more ado, I give to you:

Practically Picayune Penis Trivia

In all my research for this article, one thing remains clear: whether concerned with, proud of, or otherwise wishing for, a penis of particular proportions, size does matter! I must admit, it makes me a bit sad for the poor dude who set this record:

The smallest erect penis on record was one centimeter long.

Poor guy had a case of micropenis. As much as I use that term for my dear lil’ under-endowed callers, turns out it is a very real condition!

Micropenis is a rare disorder where the afflicted suffers from an
unusually small penis, roughly .75 to one inch long…and that’s erect.

I bet lil’ dick losers everywhere are feeling better about themselves already! Not for long, though! Read on…

“Generally, Caucasian males have penis sizes averaging about 6.2 inches long, with the approximate circumference of 3.2 inches” (sizemed.com).

The “record-holding penis [is] 13.5 inches in length and 6.25 inches in circumference” (sizemed.com).

In 1995, Hong Kong native Mo Ka Wang lifted over 250 pounds more than two feet off the floor using nothing but his erect penis!

No matter the size, an unobstructed penis is capable of shooting semen anywhere from 12 to 24 inches.

The initial spurt of ejaculate travels at 28 miles per hour. By way of comparison, the world record for the 100 yard dash is 27.1 miles per hour.

Next, are the answers to two questions frequently asked by all you cum pigs out there! How many calories are contained in a teaspoon of cum? and What is cum made up of, besides semen? Oh, who am *I* kidding! Those aren’t really the questions I get asked. The questions I get asked, are: “Ms. Hunter, f I drink a shot glass full of cum, will it make me gain weight? and “Ms. Hunter, what makes that warm sticky goo taste oh-so-good?”   Well, my eager little cum guzzlers, indirectly, here are the answers to your questions:

There are between 5-10 calories in a teaspoon of semen, which is said to be made up of more than 30 substances, including:   fructose, ascorbic acid, cholesterol, creatine, citric acid, lactic acid, nitrogen, vitamin B12 and many other various salts and enzymes depending on what the ejaculator ate recently.

Medomalacuphobia is the fear of losing an erection, and according to my favorite friends, Merriam & Webster, is pronounced: med-oh-muh-lak-you-fo-beeuh.

Believe it or not, there’s actually a word for the fear of seeing, thinking about, or having an erect penis. It’s called ithyphallophobia, which Merriam & Webster say is pronounced: ith-uh-fal-oh-fo-beeuh.

Among primates, the man’s penis is the largest and the thickest- an adult gorilla’s being only about two inches long

The walrus has the largest penis of any land animal, measuring 24.5 inches when erect; the rhinoceros, comes in at a very close second.

The amount of available internet trivia pertaining to the penis seems to be endless! This just reinforces my firm belief that everybody, in some way, is preoccupied with the penis!

Well, kiddies- as much as I know you all enjoyed reading those picayune facts pertaining to the penis, that’s all for today! Tune in tomorrow for the blog post: “Fetishes and Paraphilias”

Until next time,

Adult Phone Sex, Phone Sex Mistress, Dominatrix

Need an enchantress to stimulate your senses through provocative and intimate conversation? Call Empress Hunter at 800-356-6169.

With many of you at the Fireworks celebrating our wonderful country’s independence, a few of us were busy making fireworks of our own!

Let’s see… there was R that called for a guided masturbation and teasing session that was “something different”. He started to realize just “how different” it was going to be when I had him fetching his toothbrush and toothpaste, along with tongs, soup spoon (not a wooden spoon, but a metal soup spoon), and a few other interesting items!

Then, of course there was RG, who was so excited to be the fluffer for the two bulls his wife brought home to fuck, he could hardly contain himself, followed by PantyBoy M, who was away on a trip with the guys, but was so horny he couldn’t wait to sneak away and give me a call! Even had to go buy a pair of pretty pink panties before he called, as he couldn’t risk taking them with him on the trip.

The following day, in the afterglow of fireworks celebrations around the country, many of us were still making fireworks! There’s R, who couldn’t wait to call and tell me he’d just received a box of goodies recently ordered from the stockroom, and asked if I would help him break them in! I think he’s still basking in the afterglow of that explosive session!!

And of course, I wouldn’t want to forget about my slut j, and the fact that he couldn’t wait to pound that cock of his, the minute his Mistress was away! We really must do something about that lack of self discipline, j!

I had a terrific holiday weekend; with fireworks like these, who needed to go out and battle the crowds for something that usually fizzles all the way through and at the end you have to ask “was that the grand finale?” I guarantee you none of these guys had to ask that question!!!

Until next time,

Adult Phone Sex, Phone Sex Mistress, Dominatrix